I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He shit in the fireplace
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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