I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
