the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
