Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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