But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
