I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
