he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
