im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
