I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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