oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
