you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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