p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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