so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Buhtt sex?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
