I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
