just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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