chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
