Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
