new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
