Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
