My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
