he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
