Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
