The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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