I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
