i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
