Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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