think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
