she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
