WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
