she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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