You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
