you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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