ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
