I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
