Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You don't make any sense
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