Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
soo... how was my night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
