Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
