Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
