Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
