What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
