I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
