I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize