i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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