She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
