I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
