a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize