I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
