Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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