Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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