We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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