what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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