I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
