I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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