Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
time to smoke my breakfast
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
