i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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