This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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