Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
