I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
