Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
