When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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