she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
