Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
