The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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