Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
