Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
