I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
