Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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